A significant factor in Donald Trump’s re-election was the support he garnered from men. A majority (55%) of men voted for him, while 53% of women voted for Kamala Harris, according to CNN’s exit polls.

This reveals a concerning trend: Americans are struggling to understand one another across political divides, and even within their own families. One major reason for this seems to be the difficulty in having meaningful conversations about reproductive rights.

For many (largely women) voters who supported Harris, abortion was a critical issue. A substantial 76% of people who prioritized abortion as the most important issue voted for her, according to the CNN exit polls. However, the fact that the Harris campaign couldn’t persuade a majority of men to support reproductive rights underscores the profound impact of the Supreme Court’s Dobbs decision, which remains misunderstood by a large segment of the electorate.

Since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in June 2022, many women have been vocal about the risks this poses to their lives. On the campaign trail, Harris highlighted the case of Latasha McGhee, a Georgia mother who died after being forced to wait hours at a hospital for medical care following an abortion. At a Harris-Walz campaign rally in Michigan in October, former First Lady Michelle Obama starkly painted the picture of women potentially bleeding to death on operating tables. This speech was particularly noteworthy because women often feel compelled to stay silent about the harsh realities of pregnancy and childbirth.

This increased visibility may contribute to the passage of ballot measures to protect reproductive rights in 7 states (while failing in 3 others). However, within families and communities across the country, women are still pressured to keep quiet about the complex and potentially life-threatening nature of pregnancy and childbirth. It is rare for a woman in the U.S. to publicly disclose an abortion to her colleagues or friends. Based on personal experience, I’m aware of the many miscarriages experienced by my closest friends and family members, but these stories are often shared tearfully years later, with statements like, “If it had worked out, it would’ve been their daughter’s birthday around this time.”

Our society conditions women to endure physical pain and unspeakable grief in silence, fearing they might cause discomfort to those around them.

But here are the facts: About 10-20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Given that a significant majority of American women eventually have children—many of us more than once—miscarriages are a common experience for many women. This means that every man (and indeed person of any gender) in this country should be concerned about the women they love being denied care in such an event.

Other women terminate pregnancies because they cannot afford another child or due to rape. In the U.S., 1 in every 6 women will be the victim of attempted or completed rape, according to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN).

Yet, a substantial portion of the country seems to have disregarded these facts when making their voting decisions. This includes some women. While white women with college degrees were significantly more likely to vote for Harris, white women without degrees were more likely to support Trump. Similarly, men who may not have had firsthand knowledge of these realities overwhelmingly felt it acceptable to vote for a candidate who supports policies that could harm the women they love. White men without college degrees overwhelmingly voted for Trump, while white men with college degrees only chose Harris by a single point.

This situation demands change. But the responsibility cannot fall solely on individual women who have already suffered so much. It’s on all of us to engage in open conversations about these issues. It is unacceptable for people of any gender or educational background to remain oblivious to the stakes involved for women in this matter.

Following Trump’s election in 2016, women ran for office in large numbers, resulting in a record 117 women being elected to the House of Representatives in the midterms. I hope that this recent election prompts a similar response—and if there are more discussions about women’s reproductive realities around kitchen tables over the next two years, the next women to run for office could achieve greater success than Harris.