Noticing this article’s title is a good start; it might prompt reflection on your eye focus. Eye contact, crucial for human connection, is dwindling in our screen-saturated world. Digital distractions pull our gaze from others to our devices.
This isn’t limited to adults. A study showed 62% of educators believe children struggle more with eye contact than previously. This decline reflects a shift away from face-to-face interaction, altering communication and connection.
Screens’ impact is significant, affecting attention spans, boredom tolerance, and interest in the real world.
But devices are just one factor.
Even putting phones aside, a barrier remains: the term “eye contact” itself. It’s often presented as something you either possess or lack (“She has great eye contact”). This oversimplifies it, reducing a dynamic process to a static attribute.
Eye contact isn’t a possession; it’s an action. It’s not simply “present” or “absent.” Viewing it as a static trait is misleading and focuses on the speaker, not the interaction.
Instead, consider eye contact an art form. Great artists hone their sensitivity to their environment. Similarly, using your eyes allows for deeper connection, revealing subtle details in human interaction.
Is it simple? Yes! Eye contact involves actively understanding others’ communication and ensuring yours is received.
But execution isn’t always easy. It’s simple when engaged and comfortable.
But self-consciousness hinders this. In such cases, muscle memory from practice is key. A third challenge: not knowing how to improve it.
In 15 years of communication training, I’ve helped thousands cultivate better eye contact—even with self-consciousness—using physical exercises leveraging embodied cognition.
Try “Silent Storytelling.” Tell a story without speaking, using facial expressions and body language. Observe audience reactions—raised eyebrows, nods—to gauge understanding. “Good eye contact” arises naturally when communicating without sound.
Another exercise uses a ball. Speak to people one at a time, tossing the ball to each person after sharing an idea. This requires eye contact to ensure a successful exchange.
These exercises make eye contact feel natural, shifting the focus from “good” or “bad” contact to inherent skills. Through practice, build confident, meaningful eye contact—not perfection, but presence. Let go of self-criticism and enjoy improving communication, one glance at a time.