Many people ask me, as a dating coach, when the best time of year is to find a partner. It’s a common question, as individuals struggle to find viable dating prospects and often want to improve their odds of success.
While I understand the desire, the question becomes increasingly difficult to answer in the modern world. People are increasingly turning to dating apps instead of meeting potential partners organically in real life.
I have historically advised my clients to embrace summer as the most promising season for forming connections. The longer days and warmer evenings of summer naturally boost our energy levels. Those after-work invitations that feel like a chore in colder weather seem more appealing, and simply going out with friends becomes more exciting with more people socializing. This energetic atmosphere naturally increases our interest in dating and intimacy. This is why we often associate summer with “summer love” or “summer flings.”
But, in today’s world, is summer really the most romantic season? It’s more complicated than you might think.
Despite my previous praise for summer, it may surprise you to learn that fall and winter are arguably more conducive to finding long-term partners and may actually be the true “sexiest” times of the year. A 2018 report by *Time* magazine found that birth rates increase significantly in late spring and summer, indicating that more intimate encounters actually occur in the colder, more cozy months. This could be a result of people forming partnerships during “cuffing season,” a period when singles tend to couple up for the colder months. It’s also reflective of our natural human mating season. Summer is often seen as the time for meeting new people, while fall and winter are for settling down.
However, the issue isn’t the season in which we date, but rather the fact that traditional seasonal dating patterns are no longer compatible with the modern way we connect.
In general, singles find it harder to meet people when they’re out and about—regardless of the season. Most of us are constantly glued to our phones, disconnected from the world around us and the potential for human connection. Despite their popularity, dating apps only have an average success rate of around 12% in finding partners, according to a Center study.
Adding to the challenges, an increasing number of people are choosing to remain single, painting a bleak picture for those looking for new relationships. A recent study found that a staggering 57% of singles reported that they weren’t seeking a relationship or casual dates. The number of singles looking to date decreased from 49% in 2019 to 42% in 2022, with men less likely than women to report that they were looking for a relationship or casual dates. Therefore, if you are looking for a committed relationship or even open to casual dating, your options may be limited, and the process of filtering through potential partners is becoming much more difficult than it was just a few years ago.
This data also helps explain a trend I often observe as a dating coach: people who are highly motivated to find partnership, intimacy, and love often encounter those who are not as invested in the process—who are not matching their energy levels. However, there are even more layers to this. For those who primarily rely on dating apps, there’s also the issue of inactive profiles cluttering their feed and making it difficult to find matches. Deactivating dating profiles when users want to take a break or because they’ve found someone is often confusing and time-consuming. Consequently, people might delete the app, not realizing that this doesn’t delete their profile. Inactive profile policies vary from app to app, but some inactive profiles can remain visible for months to years. This can create the illusion of a greater number of available individuals than actually exist. It’s a bit like walking into a ghost town.
Despite daters’ desire to optimize the process of meeting someone new and take advantage of opportunities to make dating easier and more enjoyable, it’s hard to ignore the facts. Fewer people are seeking relationships, and it’s more difficult to meet those who do—whether digitally or in the real world. Those summer nights may not be as exciting if the people you meet aren’t interested in pursuing any type of relationship. Even on the busiest dating apps, it’s impossible to know how many people are actually active or who among them is truly serious about meeting someone.
However, this doesn’t mean that those seeking partners should give up. It simply means that you’re right to feel that dating is challenging today, regardless of the season. There may be pressure to make the most of summer by going out more or starting a dating profile, but the reality is that you’re likely to encounter the same dating challenges year-round.
Therefore, it’s even more important to take dating chances whenever you can and give yourself credit for dating despite the odds. If you find summer love, it won’t be because of some special quality of the season. It will be because everything aligned perfectly for you to find the right connection.